The Jarring Jerkiness of Judge J.O.R.T.S.

The Jarring Jerkiness of Judge J.O.R.T.S. is the eighth episode of The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants.

Synopsis
Noting that almost every new teacher of Jerome Horwitz Elementary School is always meaner than the last, George and Harold attempt to get their new Spanish teacher before he gets them. However, he is nicer than most and feels worthless, especially after their latest prank. Feeling sorry for him, they decide to cheer him up with a comic book (being surprised to see a teacher that actually likes comics), which inspires him to be a superhero like Captain Underpants. But a psychotic robe and a revenge-obsessed Melvin Sneedly is sure to cause trouble for our two heroes.

Summary
A flying saucer containing three aliens flies over Piqua, Ohio. When the flying saucer hovers next to George Beard and Harold Hutchins's treehouse, an alien gets a glimpse of Harold's hair. He finds it frightening because he sees it as a good place to hide weapons. He tells the other alien, who is piloting the ship, to leave Earth immediately. The pilot asks him if he left the trunk open, to which he replies "Who Cares." As the aliens fly away, a black robe falls out of their open trunk and lands in a tree next to a pet shop. The alien tells the pilot to hurry up and leave Earth, because if the robe were to fuse itself with a human's DNA, it would be a disaster. The two aliens fly away into space.

The next day, George and Harold are waiting for their new Spanish teacher to enter the class (having set up an elaborate prank on him.) When the new Spanish teacher walks into the classroom, he introduces himself as Señor Citizen. (His name is a pun on senior citizen.) However, when Señor Citizen grabs his coffee mug off the desk, a fishing rod snags his pants and suspends him from the ceiling. He immediately begins crying and says that he is a failure in life and confesses that he doesn't know any Spanish, his name isn't really Señor Citizen, it's Jerry Citizen, and that he only took a job as a teacher because Benjamin Krupp will hire literally anybody and tells everyone that he will lay down and never get up again and then sobs uncontrollably. Melvin Sneedly angrily stands up on his desk and says that he needs a competent Spanish teacher as he needs to be fluent in six languages to get into Elitenati Academy, his dream school, before he too is suspended from the ceiling by his pants by a fishing rod. George and Harold feel guilty about pranking Jerry, as he is much nicer than they expected him to be, and they apologize, offering to do something to make him feel better. Jerry initially asks for an Alaskan cruise with his mother, but then tells George and Harold that he likes comic books. Shocked that they have a teacher who actually likes comic books, George and Harold decide to make him one.

When Jerry reads their comic book, depicting him as a superhero named Judge J.O.R.T.S. (Justice, Order, Righteousness, Tenacity, Shorts), he decides to become a superhero himself and runs off to get superpowers. In his absence, the class has a "no teacher party."

Meanwhile, Jerry is at a pet shop. He asks the cashier if they sell radioactive pets, as he needs to get bitten by one to get superpowers. When the cashier tells him that they are sold out, Jerry has a nervous breakdown, before finding a robe on the tree outside the pet shop. He says that it might be an alien robe that gives its wearer superpowers and puts it on. The robe actually gives him superpowers and he decides to become Judge J.O.R.T.S. in real life. He flies back to the school and declares that he has become a superhero. George and Harold, certain that Judge J.O.R.T.S. will cause chaos, they decide to follow him while pretending to be his sidekicks. Judge J.O.R.T.S. turns out to be incompetent, making every problem he tries to solve worse. Judge J.O.R.T.S. feels sad that he failed at accomplishing his lifelong dream and thinks that he doesn't even deserve dreams.

Meanwhile, Melvin has built a Judge J.O.R.T.S. signal (a floodlight that projects the image of a pair of shorts), and plans to lure Judge J.O.R.T.S. to him. Thinking that the city is in danger, Judge J.O.R.T.S. flies over to Melvin, who shows him toxic waste that is leaking from some pipes into the river. Judge J.O.R.T.S. looks at the pipes and, while his back is turned, Melvin cuts a piece of fabric off of his robe. Melvin runs off, while Judge J.O.R.T.S. tries to stop the toxic waste from flowing into the river. He ties one of the pipes into a knot with his bare hands. Before he can move on to the other pipes, he begins punching himself in the face. He tells George and Harold that the robe has taken control of him.

George and Harold go to Mr. Krupp's office and snap their fingers, turning him into Captain Underpants. Captain Underpants fights Judge J.O.R.T.S., who is under the control of the robe. Captain underpants manages to punch the robe off of Judge J.O.R.T.S., but Melvin appears with his own super robe, which he made out of a piece of Judge J.O.R.T.S.'s robe and his Cindy. Sneedlys bathrobe. George and Harold warn Melvin to take the robe off, but he doesn't listen and it takes control of him. The two robes fuse together with Melvin trapped inside. Captain Underpants fights the robes and, thanks to Judge J.O.R.T.S., who tripped and rolled down a hill into the robe, manages to knock Melvin out of the robe. The robe then fuses itself to Captain Underpants, taking control of him. While under the robe's control, Captain Underpants begins punching himself in the face. George and Harold tell Captain Underpants to punch himself in the direction of the river, hoping that the toxic waste in the river will burn the robe off of Captain Underpants. Captain Underpants punches himself into the river and is separated from the robe. he jumps out of the river and notices that he has grown a third ear.

Meanwhile, the robe is floundering about in the river, before it sinks and disappears. Captain Underpants turns back into Mr. Krupp, and the robes are gone. The episode finishes by showing a sewer full of toxic waste, where the robe has grown into a monster, which the narrator says may be important to a future episode, but "nobody tells him anything".

Trivia

 * The aliens at the beginning of the episode are of the same species as Zorx, Klax, and Jennifer.
 * The symbiotic robe is likely a shout-out to the Marvel character Venom.
 * The episode "The Shadowy Syndrome of the Sinister Splotch" acts as a sequel to this episode, because the robe Jerry found returns as the villain Splotch.
 * This is the first episode that shows Harold and George as their young child kindergarten selves. Harold has bigger hair, and George has an afro, just like in the ninth book, Captain Underpants and the Revolting Revenge of the Radioactive Robo-Boxers.
 * When Captain Underpants jumps in the toxic waste and turns back into Mr. Krupp, he thinks he's grown a third ear on his head, but it's practically a pimple.
 * Moral: Don't flatter or lie to people just to spare their feelings.
 * The 1st chapter title, "Pranks for the Enemies", is similar to the song, "Thanks for the Memories" by the popular boy band called, Fall Out Boy.

Goofs

 * When Captain Underpants fights himself towards the toxic waste river until the robe falls in it, he's not wearing his cape, but when the robe drowns in the river, he's suddenly wearing his cape again.