The Vexing Villainy of the Vile Vimpire/Transcript

[The episode starts with a shot of George and Harold's treehouse]

George: [offscreen] Two butts. [laughs]

Harold: [offscreen] No, he should have three butts.

George: [offscreen] Infinity butts!

Harold: Or he should be one giant butt made entirely out of dynamite!

George: And he burps fire, so he never has to light a match.

Harold: Genius.

CARD: Chapter 1: The Masterpiece

Narrator: Chapter One: The Masterpiece. This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins. George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop; Harold is the kid on the right with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Remember that now. This is the night that George and Harold created...

Comic Narrator: Captain Underpants and the Blistering Blasts of the Booming Buttpoocalypse! By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George: And then Hein-o-mite--that's his name cause he's a heinie and he's dynamite--poops a stick of dynamite and throws it at Captain Underpants and it explodes. And he crashes into uh... a tree and it explodes, sending him flying into a condor!

Harold: That explodes!

George: That's not cool. We can't explode a bird.

Harold: Right uh' a dump truck that explodes!

George: Sending him flying into a luxury pillow-top mattress factory!

Harold: That explodes!

George: [chuckles] Man, this is going be...

Harold: A masterpiece!

George: We've out-awesomed ourselves.

George and Harold: New handshake!

[grunting]

George: Huh.

Harold: Wait. Doesn't it go hand, elbow, arm, knees, toes, and the screaming?

[both laughing]

[Theme Song plays]

George and Harold: So George and Harold make comic books.

George: We're cool.

Harold: Me too!

George and Harold: But they had a mean old principal who told them what to-

Mr. Krupp: Blah Blah Blah Blah...!

George and Harold: So they got a Hypno-Ring and first they made him dance, then accidentally, kinda on purpose, turned him into Captain Underpants!

Captain Underpants: Traa-La-Laaaaaa!

George and Harold: With a snap, he's the captain, not the brightest man, and don't forget when he gets wet, you're back where you began!

Mr. Krupp: Blah Blah Blah...!

George and Harold: Put it all together, what could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end of the Captain Underpants song! By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

Captain Underpants: Traa-La-Laaaaaa!

George and Harold: The Vexing Villiany of the Vile Vimpire

''[The next day at the school cafeteria, the kids are reading comics. George and Harold enter and walk to their table]''

Narrator: It was George and Harold's finest hour.

George; Another masterpiece in the can.

Harold: Nobody does it better.

[Two girls see the lunch menu]

Dressy: Ugh. Bat wings again.

''[The Lunch Ladies hit a group of bats as they fly around the cafeteria. George and Harold sit at their table]''

Erica: Hey, guys.

Harold: Hey, Erica. What'd you think of the comic book?

George: What was your favorite part? The explosions in the beginning, the end, or the middle?

Erica: Well, let's start with the positive. The Fart-mada invasion. Gripping. And when Hein-omite sacrifices himself for the good of all butt-kind, I cried. But I do have one small suggestion. Girls don't like it.

Harold: -Is that a suggestion?

George: -What are you talking about? The girls loved it!

[All the girls ruin the comic books and put them in the trash]

Dressy: It's making me bored and angry at the same time. Is "borngry" a word? I'm "borngry!"

Harold: Huh. That's not good.

Erica: Nope. But it's nothing a strong female character can't fix.

George: What about hyminte's girlfriend, Screamerella

Screamerella: (screaming)

Erica: Maybe, if she did something besides scream!

Harold: She could be a layler and scream, it happens!