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[Episode begins]

[Narrator]

This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins. George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop, Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut. Remember that now. They enjoy pranks. [The two boys start messing up a sign] Sometimes those pranks are harmless.

[George]

Be warned.

[Harold]

We fart so loud!

[They both burst into laughter]

[Narrator]

And sometimes...

[Scene cuts to George and Harold running from a giant avocado]

[Narrator]

They get the world attacked by giant, cranky produce. But before we can tell you that story, we have to tell you this story.

[Theme Song plays]

[George and Harold]

The Squishy Predicament of Stanley Peet's Stinky Pits!

Chapter 1: Lunch Fail.[]

[Scene cuts to George and Harold in the cafeteria, looking at cafeteria food]

[George]

I'm telling you, I saw it move!

[Harold]

Thats impossible, man. Impossible. [Dramatic music quickly builds and the food twitches] Whoa! I saw it!

[George]

See? It's alive!

[Lunch lady squashes the food with a mallet]

[Lunch lady]

Enjoy!

[The food squirms around a bit]

[George]

Ew, we don't want to eat that!

[Harold]

Me neither. And I'm starving!

[Ms. Anthrope staples a poster on the wall, her hair getting stapled as well]

[Ms. Anthrope]

I very much need some time off.

[George and Walked approach the poster]

[George]

Avacad-grow!

[Narrator]

Yes, avacad-grow, the annual avocado growing contest. Generally considered one of the most boring contests in existence, except for the prize.

[Harold]

Winner gets an all-you-can-eat lunch of whatever you want.

[George]

Harold, you know what that means!?

[Both]

All-you-can-eat lunch of whatever we want!

[George, in a puppet imagination sequence]

I'll have the everything.

[Harold]

Make it two.

[Food rains from the sky covering up the screen as puppet George and puppet Harold try to eat it all]

[End of puppet imagination sequence]

[George]

We got to win this thing!

[Harold]

Our stomachs depend on it!

[Squished cafeteria food, crawling on the floor]

What about me?

[Lunch Lady]

[Squishes the food again] Can't let 'em regenerate.

Chapter 2: It's a pit-y (...because avocados have pits and, well, I'm sure you get it.)[]

[Narrator]

Teaching at Jerome Horwitz is stressful. That's why Mr. Fyde spend six months resting in the Piqua Home for The Reality Challenged. But he's better now, and ready to teach science again. [Door bangs] [Mr. Fyde screams] ...As long as you keep the noise down.

[Scene cuts

[School bell rings]

[Mr. Fyde]

[Stammers] Th- the student whose pit grows the most by, heh, weeks end wins the lunch jackpot.

[Mr. Krupp]

And, Children, this is Mr. Fydes first day back. His nerves are raw, so... KEEP THE NOISE DOWN!!!

[Mr. Fyde shudders]

[Mr. Fyde]

Please don't make loud noises. [Chuckles nervously]

[Mr. Krupp]

You heard him! NO NOISE!!

[Mr. Fyde]

...Please don't.

[Narrator]

Unfortunately for Mr. Fyde, an elementary school is practically built on noise.

[Sharpener whirring]

[Mr. Fyde gasp-screams]

[Bubblegum bubbles pop]

[Mr. Fyde gasp-screams]

[Wood chipper whirrs]

[Mr. Fyde gasp-screams]

[The pattern continues for various other noises such as music from a boombox, the clanking of a pottery tool hitting some dried clay, and bagpipes]

[Mr. Fyde]

PLEASE. BE. QUIET!!!

[All the noises stop]

[Mr. Krupp]

Woah. You are a ticking time bomb. Anyway, I want everyone to get their pits and grow, grow, grow! -And if you're thinking it's because I want you kids to grow a bunch of avocados to make me a whole lot of free guacamole because guacamole is made from avocados, and I love guacamole so much I dream about it every night and want to take it on a vacation to Maui- [Inhales sharply] ...You're dead wrong.

[Narrator]

Actually...

[Scene cuts to Mr. Krupp on a beach lying next to a bowl of guacamole]

[Mr. Krupp]

So happy.

[George, laughing]

You have a crush on guacamole.

[Mr. Krupp]

Yes... NO! I, uh- A crush on, eheh, I mean... [Chuckles nervously] I'm- I was- [Stammering] SITDOWN!

[George]

Sitting.

[Mr. Krupp]

Now, everyone try nice and quiet for Mr. Fyde, 'kay? [We walked to the door and opens it, before inhaling sharply and slamming the door]

[Mr. Fyde gasp-screams]

[Narrator

So all the kids went avocado shopping after school at Avacadepot, the biggest, best, and only avocado-only store on Earth.

[Scene cuts to students in Avacadepot]

[Harold]

What about this one?

[George]

Almost, but too wrinkly. Hmm... Oh! What about this one?

[Harold]

Hmm, not wrinkly enough!

[The two boys search for avocados until they find the 'perfect' one]

[George and Harold]

Yes!

[George]

We're gonna eat like kings!

[Harold]

I'm already working on stretching my jaw! [He stretched his jaw and makes a noise]

[Narrator]

Stanley Peet, a classmate so sweaty, he leaves a slippery trail behind him, was less picky about his pits.

[Stanley]

Hey, avacad-bros! Find your pits? I got these from the bargain bin.

[George]

Why are you all scratched up?

[Stanley]

There was a raccoon in the bin! [Laughs] But it was worth it. [He turns around and theres a raccoon snarling on his back]

[George]

We got this contest in the bag!

[Both slip on Stanleys sweat]

[Both]

Woah-- Oof!

[Narrator]

Melvin, however, was not engaged by such trivial activity.

[Melvin Sneedly]

Whatever, tiny avocado pit.

[Narrator]

His desire to attend his dream school, the Elitinati Academy, was much more important.

[Video Melvin is watching begins]

[Dr. Chalice Aristocrab]

Hello. I'm Dr. Chalice Aristocrab, dean of Elitinati Academy. The best school, for the best minds, who may or may not become evil villains. Admission requires top-notch grades,

[Melvin]

No prob.

[Dr. Chalice Aristocrab]

College-level after-school work.

[Melvin]

Uh-duh.

[Dr. Chalice Aristocrab]

And first prize in an avocado growing competition.

[Melvin]

[Gasps] What?! What?! [Growls] Hmm... Looks like we're back on, my little friend.

Chapter 3: Motion of the Notion.[]

[George]

It's not growing. Somethings wrong.

[Harold]

Uh, maybe it just needs more time?

[Pause]

[George]

It's still not growing! What do we do?

[Harold]

I don't know! [Stutters] Lets read to it!

[George]

What? Why?

[Harold]

I heard it makes plants grow better!

[George]

Then what are we waiting for?

[Both]

Comic book!

Chapter 4: Captain Underpants and the Amazingly Awesome Avacadbro! (By George Beard and Harold Hutchins)[]

[Comic Narrator]

Once, there was this guy, Texo, who sold tacos, "Hey! Texo's Tacos! Get 'em!" Then he had an idea to be more rich with big food. So Texo got Mega Booster plant food and poured it on an avocado and the avocado grew and grew, until it was giant and alive! It was so awesome, Texo named it Avocadbro! Avacadbroooo! all the customers loved Avacadbro, and Avacadbro was like, "I'm a giant, talking avocado who surfs. Whats not to like? Right?" But then Texo pushed his luck, and poured Mega Booster on a spicy taco, and the taco grew even bigger than Avacadbro, and Texo went, "Wow! I'm gonna have a swimming pool of money and coins!" but the spicy in Texo's Taco made the taco mean and shoot fireballs. It was all, "Nobody's eatin' me, man!" Shoot, shoot, shoot! Ka-blaw! Ka-blaw! And it crushed fuse and shot fireballs at the mayors pants! Yeah! Right when he was about to give a medal to who? Captain Underpants! Yay! Captain Underpants was all, "I'll save the day by eating this giant taco!" But when the Captain- But, but, but, but when Captain Underpants tried to eat the giant taco, his face turned red crying and stuff, and he was all, "It's too spicy! Hot hot hot hot hot!" But then Avacadbro showed up to make the ultimate sacrifice and was all, "Eat me an I will keep your tongue as cool as I am!" Because avocados, like, do that. Captain Underpants was all sad he had to eat his new friend to save the day, but he did it. And the, like, dodging fireballs, kerboosh, he flew super fast into Texo's giant taco, smashed it, and ate the whole thing! And his tongue was cool, and the world was all safe. Hooray and all! Texo from Texo's Taco's gave Captain Underpants free Texo's Tacos for life. And from then on, every time Captain Underpants burped, he could kinda taste his old friend avacadbro and it made him smile.

[End of comic]

[Harold]

The end.

[The boys stare at the avocado]

[Both]

Nothin'.

[Scene cuts to Mr. Fyde putting on ear muffs and a sleeping mask]

[Mr. Fyde]

Yes. [Sighs] Ok, this is much more peaceful. Now, class, I'd like you all to- [Trips over a chair] [Grunts] Carry on. Uh, I'm going to be unconscious for a while, so you- yes, I'm... [Sighs]

[Scene cuts back to George and Harold eyeing off their pit]

[Harold]

How 'bout now?

[George]

Nothin'. Lets see how the competition's stacking up.

[Melvin]

Quit now, simple-twins. Your pit is inferior, just like you. And I will show no mercy. Pit, or man!

[Harold]

But your pit isn't even growing!

[Melvin]

Oh. [Laughs] It will. [Laughs] It will!

[Harold]

Well, that was cree-

[Melvin waggles tongue]

[Harold]

Well, that was creepy. Creepy, right?

[George]

Yup. Creepy.

[Mr. Krupp]

Ah! WHERES MY GUACAMOLE?! [Mr. Fyde screams] Uh, I mean, hows the contest going? I wanna see avocados to the ceiling in here to make, you know, all the delicious, tangy, velvety guacamole. [Sighs] Because Kruppy needs his Guacy [Babbles] [Growling]

[Mr. Fyde whimpers]

[Door slams]

[Mr. Fyde gasp-screams]

[Harold]

That guy really loves guacamole.

[George]

And we should give it to him! [Sniffs] Ugh. You smell that?

[Harold]

Yeah. Its like a bunch of skunks fighting a bunch of diapers.

[George]

Hey, Stan, your avocados are pretty pungent.

[Stanley]

They sure are.

[George]

You putting' your pits... in your pits there?

[Stanley]

[Chuckles] Sure am.

[George]

Cool... you gonna use that mush?

[Harold]

Yeah, uh, mind if we borrow it?

[Crime Jazz music plays as scene cuts to George and Harold sneaking into the principals office]

[George]

All clear.

[Harold]

I wonder where Ms. Anthrope is?

[Scene quickly shows Ms. Anthrope stuck on the poster she stapled herself to earlier]

[Ms. Anthrope]

Uh... Help.

[Crime Jazz continues]

[Harold]

His face is gonna be as green as his rotten guac!

[George says something incoherently under his gas mask]

[Harold]

Speak up! I can't hear you!

[George]

Can't hear you.

[Harold]

What?

[George]

This is gonna be great!

[Harold]

What?

[Narrator]

Unfortunately, George and Harold didn't know that Mr. Krupp caught everything on his new nanny cam.

[Mr. Krupp]

Caught red-handed by Miss Peeksy! I got you, boys. I got you.

[Counter Dings]

[Mr. Krupp]

[Sniffs] Ugh! Smells like a swamp full of other, smellier swamps! It's clearly spoiled and likely dangerous. DID you expect me to eat this?

[George]

I wouldn't recommend it.

[Mr. Krupp]

What?

[George]

I don't recommend it!

[Mr. Krupp]

You think just because maybe I love guac...

[George]

I don't recommend it!

[Mr. Krupp]

That... I can't stop! [Stuffs the spoiled guac in his face] Myself... from... [He starts stuffing the entire bowl down his throat] [Stomach gurgling] Yup. That was a mistake [Starts vomiting]

[Ms. Anthrope]

[Walks in] Did you call me?

[Mr. Krupp]

No!

[Ms. Anthrope]

Because I thought I heard-

[Mr. Krupp]

I WAS PUKING!!!!!

[Ms. Anthrope]

...your sister called-

[Mr. Krupp]

PUKING!!!!!!!!!! [Shakes his head] You two went too far this time.

[George]

We said not to eat it.

[Mr. Krupp]

What? U- Take those masks off! Ugh! Tainting perfectly innocent, and wonderful guacamole. [He slips in his own vomit] Ugh! I'm eliminating you from the avacad-grow competition! No prize for you!

[George and Harold]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Harold]

[Stutters] Wait. What if we, uh...

[George]

Grow an avocado tree!

[Mr. Krupp]

Avocado tree?

[Harold]

A huge one!

[George]

Loaded with fresh avocados!

[Harold]

You'd have bottomless guacamole!

[Mr. Krupp]

Thats ridiculous! Preposterous! [Pause] I LIKE IT! You can stay in the competition, but you better grow that tree by next week!

Chapter 5: The Avocado pit and The Pendulum.[]

[George]

Now theres two reasons we got to win Avocado-grow!

[Harold]

And no time! How do we turn out pit into endless guacamole by Friday?!

[George]

It's useless! We need a miracle!

[Door creaks]

[Stanley]

Hey, guys!

[Narrator]

Behold, a miracle.

[Angelic music]

[George]

Stanley! How'd you get your pits to grow so fast!?

[Stanley]

Well, sir, my family's grown the biggest crops in Piqua for six generations. Eheh, how, you ask?

[George]

Yeah, we just asked you that.

[Narrator]

The answer is sweat. Sweat helps plants grow bigger and faster. And the Peet family sweats buckets, especially from their armpits.

[Stanley]

I grow all sorts of things in my pits. [Chuckles] You can too! Say, want some OJ?

[George]

Ok.

[Harold]

Yeah, sure.

[Stanley]

Fresh from the pit!

[George and Harold gulp the orange juice]

[George]

[Smacks lips] [Giggles] Good.

[Harold]

[Chuckles] So good.

[George]

Thanks for the plan, Stan.

Chapter 6: A sweaty salvation.[]

[Dance music]

[George]

All we gotta do is sweat-

[Harold]

-And we get our dream lunch! It's win-win. Lets drench this baby!

[Both grunting as they dance]

[Narrator]

Meat sprints! Interrogation jacks! Coyote thon!

[Boys scream as they run from Coyotes]

[Harold]

It's working! We're saved.

[George]

It only needs to grow another... 30 feet or so...

[Harold]

We're doomed.

[Narrator]

But Harold and George weren't the only ones with a plan.

[Melvin]

All I have to do is win Avacad-grow, and I get into Elitinati Academy. Then the world will know my name, Melvin Sneedly. They will sing it, [Sings] Melvin Sneedly! [Normal] Or they will scream it, [Screams] MELVIN SNEEDLY!! [Normal] But they will know it! And this invention will make it happen. I will call it: The Piticle Accelerator 2000! [Laughs maniacally]

[Karaoke Kitty approaches Melvin]

[Melvin]

For the last time, Karaoke Kitty, I don't want to sing!

[Scene cuts]

[Mr. Fyde]

Well, class, as you know I can't take any more... heheh... noise, so, this sensory deprivation tank will do the trick. I- I won't be able to see or hear anything, so... Please behave.

[He gasps as he falls into the tank]

[Stanley]

Woah [chuckles] that pits a beauty! Yeah.

[Harold]

Thanks, Stan, but we need a tree.

[George]

At least our pit is bigger than Melvin's!

[Harold]

Cuts, Melvin. [Laughs]

[Melvin]

[Scoffs] You'll see. [Ominous chip tune plays] Behold! Thanks to my Piticle Accelerator 2000, victory, as usual, will be mine!

[Machine beeping and whirring as the Piticle Accelerator 2000 shoots a laser as Melvin's pit]

[Harold]

[Gasps] Woah! We grew a tree!

[George]

We need a tree!

[Harold]

And its gotta be bigger than that tree!

[Melvin]

HA! [Blows raspberry]

[The tree branch grows and breaks Mr. Fyde's sensory deprivation tank, he flops like a fish]

[The tree branch then grows snatching Melvin from the back of his shirt]

[Melvin]

Uh- Hey! [He drops the Piticle Accelerator 2000] Noo!

[Harold]

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

[Melvin stutters and groans as he hits the ground]

[Narrator]

As they say, 'Alls fair in love and war, and giant avocado growing contests.'

[George]

Yes I am! Let's blast away! [Harold changes the setting all the way up and the machine whirrs and beeps more] Three...

[Harold]

Two...

[George]

Look out!

[The laser zaps Mr. Fyde and George and Harolds pit, as they scream]

[Mr. Fyde has a transformation sequence into Avocadwoe]

[Everyone screams]

[Avacadwoe]

NO NOISE!!!!

[Harold]

Oh, no!

[George]

It's Avacadwoe!

[Melvin]

Fools! You should never turn all the way up to 'You So Crazy'! That's Piticle Accelerator 2000 101! [To Avacadwoe] Listen to me! You must and will do whatever-

[Avacadwoe kicks Melvin and Melvin grunts loudly]

[The Piticle Accelerator 2000 breaks]

[Melvin]

OUCHIE!!!!!!!!!!! [He lands in Avacadepot] I still count this as a win.

[Avacadwoe]

NO NOISE!!!!!

[Mr. Krupp]

[Bursts into the room] Wheres my guaca- Holy Moly...

[Avacadwoe]

STOP MAKING NOISE!!

[George]

He's getting bigger!

[Avacadwoe is now outside of the school as he kicks everything that makes noise]

[Mr. Krupp]

I told you he was a ticking time bomb.

[Harold]

First, we need you to do this!

[George snaps his fingers]

[Captain Underpants]

Tra-la.. [Slips over] ...LAAAAAAAAA! So, whats up? Start from the beginning!

[George]

Thats gonna take some time.

[Captain Underpants]

Good! My schedules wide open! I have no friends, or obligations!

[Narrator]

While we wait, please enjoy this soothing musical interlude.

[Heavy metal singer]

[Heavy metal music plays] [Singing] I LIKE SPAGETTI!!!! I LIKE SPAGETTI!!!!

[Narrator]

So soothing. Now, lets get back to our story.

[Harold]

So, you got all that?

[Captain Underpants]

Nope. I was enjoying the music. I like spaghetti!!

[Dramatic music]

[Baby bird hatches, Avacadwoe smacks the tree its in, the nest goes flying, and Captain Underpants catches it]

[Captain Underpants]

Got ya! [Smooches the baby bird] Huh?

[A puppy franticly barks as a woman chatters on her phone]

[Avacadwoe]

[Kicks the lady] NO NOISE!!! [He stomps on a construction worker] QUIET!!!

[Captain Underpants]

[Catches the lady] Hey, slow dow, big fella! [He gets the construction worker to a safe place] I', saving stuff as fast as I can!

[Avacadwoe]

QUIET!!!!!

[Farting]

[Captain Underpants]

Woah! Woah! Hey! Watch it! Ah! Haha! Not so fast, you- [He crashes into a metal pole] Ooh! [The metal pole lands on top of him] Ooh! [He grabs the pol and spins it around] Hello, friend.

[Avacadwoe]

NO NOISE!!

Chapter 7: The incredibly graphic violence chapter presented in: Paint-O-Rama.[]

[Hush Muffleman]

Hello-a. I'm-a Hush Muffleman, the peaceful painter. So Avacadwoe is hanging Captain Underpants out-a to dry, but these cute little ducklings make it all better yet. Ooh, getting your neck tied in a know smarts, doesn't it? But not when Looky Lou the Clown is around. Aw, we all hate to get a-squished, but all this chocolate will help.

[Scene cuts to Old Man on Chair]

[Chair creaks]

[Old man]

Kids, don't worry. I didn't get that bit either.

[Scene cuts back to Captain Underpants and Avacadwoe fighting]

[Captain Underpants]

Parry, parry! Tra-la-la!

[George]

Yes! [Bangs his head] Ow!

[Avacadwoe laughs maniacally]

[Captain underpants gasps]

[Harold]

No!

[George]

Got to admit, impressive feature.

[Harold]

True. [Gasps]

[Captain Underpants]

Ok, Walkamole. Lets dip! Tra-la-la!

Chapter 8: So who won?[]

[Narrator]

Take one Guess.

[Captain Underpants]

Oof!

[Avacadwoe, to cars]

STOP BEEPING!!

[Harold]

Aha! He hates anything that makes sound. Can we put the world on mute?

[George]

No. But we can put him on mute! Captain Underpants! You got anything that cap plug up avocado ears?

[Captain Underpants]

I have underwear!

[Harold]

Great! But, do you have enough?

[Captain Underpants]

Lets find out! [He starts taking out lots of underwear from his utility waistband] Anyone see any good movies lately? Or go somewhere fun? I've always wanted to go to a luau.

[Harold]

Thats probably enough underwear!

[Captain Underpants]

[Wraps the underwear into two balls] Yes, it is! Tra-la-la! [He stuffs the underwear balls into Avacadwoes ears]

[Car alarm beeps]

[Avacadwoe]

I heard that!

[Captain Underpants]

That didn't work!

[Avacadwoe]

If you won't be quiet, I'll make you quiet! I'll make the whole world... QUIET FOREVER!!!!!

[George and Harold start screaming but get cut off]

[Narrator]

You may remember this from the beginning of the show.

[Captain Underpants]

Woah! Flying car! This must be the future! [He rescues George and Harold from being crushed by a car]

[George]

Woah, that was close! Thanks! [Gasps]

[Harold]

Toothpicks! Go, now!

[Captain Underpants]

Good call! Ow! Ooh! Eee! Ah! Oh! Ouch! Oh! No! Thank you! Ouch!

[Scene cuts]

[Narrator]

Captain Underpants and the boys took sanctuary in the woods behind the school, the best place in Piqua to get away from it all.

[George]

Avacadwoe wants it quiet. So maybe he won't destroy everything if we find him a quiet place to go!

[Captain Underpants]

Like a bowling ally!

[George]

I got nothing.

[Captain Underpants]

An airport!

[Harold]

Me neither.

[Captain Underpants]

A peaceful forest!

[George]

Captain Underpants, will you please... Wait! Thats it! The forest!

[Harold]

Yeah, its perfect!

[George]

Heres what we gotta do...

[Scene transitions to George, Harold, and Captain Underpants in the city]

[Captain Underpants]

Yoo-hoo!

[Avacadwoe]

No! Quiet!!

[Captain Underpants]

Oops.

[Harold]

You want it quiet-

[George]

-you'll have to cut this racket!

[The trio pulls out bunch of different instruments and start making as loud noise as they can]

[Avacadwoe]

NO!!

[Captain Underpants]

I think he likes it!

[George]

Get moving!

[Captain Underpants]

Yay! Can we always be this loud?

[George and Harold]

No!

[Avacadwoe]

QUIET!!

[They continue making noise]

[George]

Keep it loud..!

[Captain Underpants]

Yes! Happy to! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! I'm so loud! I'm so loud! La-la-la! I'm so loud! La-la-la!

[Avacadwoe]

NO!!

[Harold]

NOW!

[Avacadwoe falls into a hole]

[George]

Dirt!

[Captain Underpants fills the hole with dirt]

[Harold]

Lets get Sweaty Stanley!

[Captain Underpants]

Okay!

[Stanley]

[Gasps] Sir! Whats happening!?

[Avacadwoe grows into a tree]

[Avacadwoe]

QUIEEEEHHH- ...It is Quiet. [Sighs]

[Stanley freaks out as a raccoon attacks him, a drop of his sweat lands on Captain Underpants]

[Mr. Krupp]

What..? WHAT? WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!??! ..What? Guacamole!

Chapter 9: Tree and easy.[]

[Narrator]

It worked.

[Mr. Fyde]

[Sighs] Thank you so much. Being a tree is far quieter than being a teacher. Actually, everything is. [Chuckles]

[George]

Our pleasure, Mr. Fyde. Thanks to your avocados, it's a win-win-win!

[Food drops from the sky, mimicking the puppet fantasy, only this time its not puppets]

[Harold]

I can't wait to eat food that doesn't fight back! Heh.

[Mr. Krupp stuffs his face with guacamole and burps]

[End of episode]

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