Captain Underpants Wiki
FD67BFC3-2779-4739-B540-AD26D9AA1E16 This article is a stub and would benefit greatly if it contained more information. Please help the Captain Underpants Wiki by expanding it.

[The episode starts with a shot of George and Harold's treehouse

George: [offscreen] Two butts. [laughs]

Harold: [offscreen] No, he should have three butts.

George: [offscreen] Infinity butts!

Harold: Or he should be one giant butt made entirely out of dynamite!

George: And he burps fire, so he never has to light a match.

Harold: Genius.

CARD: Chapter 1: The Masterpiece

Narrator: Chapter One: The Masterpiece. This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins. George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop; Harold is the kid on the right with the t-shirt and the bad haircut. Remember that now. This is the night that George and Harold created...

Comic Narrator: Captain Underpants and the Blistering Blasts of the Booming Buttpoocalypse! By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George: And then Hein-o-mite--that's his name cause he's a heinie and he's dynamite--poops a stick of dynamite and throws it at Captain Underpants and it explodes. And he crashes into uh... a tree and it explodes, sending him flying into a condor!

Harold: That explodes!

George: That's not cool. We can't explode a bird.

Harold: Right uh' a dump truck that explodes!

George: Sending him flying into a luxury pillow-top mattress factory!

Harold: That explodes!

George: [chuckles] Man, this is going be...

Harold: A masterpiece!

George: We've out-awesomed ourselves.

George and Harold: New handshake!


George: Huh.

Harold: Wait. Doesn't it go hand, elbow, arm, knees, toes, and the screaming?

[both laughing]

[Theme Song plays]

George and Harold: So George and Harold make comic books.

George: We're cool.

Harold: Me too!

George and Harold: But they had a mean old principal who told them what to-

Mr. Krupp: Blah Blah Blah Blah...!

George and Harold: So they got a Hypno-Ring and first they made him dance, then accidentally, kinda on purpose, turned him into Captain Underpants!

Captain Underpants: Traa-La-Laaaaaa!

George and Harold: With a snap, he's the captain, not the brightest man, and don't forget when he gets wet, you're back where you began!

Mr. Krupp: Blah Blah Blah...!

George and Harold: Put it all together, what could possibly go wrong? Now this is the end of the Captain Underpants song! By George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

Captain Underpants: Traa-La-Laaaaaa!

George and Harold: The Vexing Villiany of the Vile Vimpire

[The next day at the school cafeteria, the kids are reading comics. George and Harold enter and walk to their table]

Narrator: It was George and Harold's finest hour.

George; Another masterpiece in the can.

Harold: Nobody does it better.

[Two girls see the lunch menu]

Dressy: Ugh. Bat wings again.

Cafeteria Ladies hit a group of bats as they fly around the cafeteria. George and Harold sit at their table]

Erica: Hey, guys.

Harold: Hey, Erica. What'd you think of the comic book?

George: What was your favorite part? The explosions in the beginning, the end, or the middle?

Erica: Well, let's start with the positive. The Fart-mada invasion. Gripping. And when Hein-omite sacrifices himself for the good of all butt-kind, I cried. But I do have one small suggestion. Girls don't like it.

Harold: -Is that a suggestion?

George: -What are you talking about? The girls loved it!

[All the girls ruin the comic books and put them in the trash]

Dressy: It's making me bored and angry at the same time. Is "borngry" a word? I'm "borngry!"

Harold: Huh. That's not good.

Erica: Nope. But it's nothing a strong female character can't fix.

George: What about hyminte's girlfriend, Screamerella

Screamerella: (screaming)

Erica: Maybe, if she did something besides scream!

Harold: She could be a layler and scream, it happens!

George: Harold, she had drop out of high school to scream about the Barf borg inavsion

Harold: Oh, right, forgot about the backstory!

Erica: All your girl characters is just cry, shock and brush pony hair, how about a girl with a dimension

George: You mean like, Dimension unrellant, not great!

Harold: Plus, how do you draw that

Erica: Yeah, no, let’s try this again!

(we then pan out of view and Melvin sees them)

Melvin: Erica Wang, editor and chief of Jerome Hortwiz Examitor leads to pronto of the science singers, Former president of the future presidents club, such a beautiful brain of oat meal, almost as beautiful as mine, our brains belong together, two brains of oatmeal thinking of one!

George: look, we know what kids like, big, messy, action, observe, FOOD FIGHT!

Male Voice: FOOD FIGHT!

Gooch: Remember the olive moat

(Suddenly, food hits gooch and all the kids start a food fight and we cut to Dressy with a piano)

Dressy: I hate food fights)

Melvin: Erica Died, a hive mind of love!

(all the kids are still running and fighting with food and a pizza hits the lunch lady)

George: See, we know what kids like, more dial in, experts, nice try

(Suddenly, hands grab George and Harold and they scream which turns out to be Mr. Krupp)

Mr. Krupp: This is your fault, even if it isn’t…!

(Krupps ducks as a pineapple flies over him)

Mr. Krupp: you boys are coming with…

(Sausages hit Mr. Krupp)

Mr. Krupp: Stop throwing waiter, ah

Narrator: Chapter 2: Kruppin’ on empty!

(Meanwhile in Krupp’s office)

George: What is keeping it up there, Tape!

Mr. Krupp: Silence!

both: (gasp)

Harold: There’s two, it’s a matching set!

Mr. Krupp: Mr. Meaner tells me there’s nothing you boys hate more than exercise, so we’re going for a run.

George: Don’t Worry, Pal, Mr. Krupp gets winded burping.

(in a west style Krupp burps and faints)

Mr. Krupp: (groans), oh

(he falls to the ground and gets up and tries to open the window)

Mr. Krupp: (grunting), Come on, (breathing)

(he gets up and raises his arm but he falls and burps, back in reality)

George: All hail Conformity, eh.

(the boys rearrange the sign)

Harold: Cool Fart Mall

Both: (laugh)

Mr. Krupp: What are you doing!

George: Oops, though you wouldn’t see us during the flashback!

Mr. Krupp: (growling)

(we cut to the neighborhood where Krupp, George and Harold are running)

George: True, I started a food fight, but only cause of what Erica said, she could suck the joy, out of anything!

Harold: So technically, she has started a food fight except without just bunch of foods

Mr. Krupp: ENOUGH

(he slips and gets up)

Mr. Krupp: Boys, I dislike you with every fiber of my beat, but I’ll help you because the last thing I need in my school is you, I’m setting, (screams)!


Mr. Krupp: And they’ll come to me

(he turns to them)

Mr. Kruppm And I can’t have that, because they babble me,

(a girl passes Krupp)

Mr. Krupp: See, what is supposed to be

George: Uh, hello

Mr. Krupp: Maybe, Maybe not, no one knows!

Harold: We know, it’s definitely hello!

Mr. Krupp: (groans), here’s a panphlet that may help!

George: Understanding Woman, a pan flit man will never read

Harold: Is it good!

Mr. Krupp: Never read, but it might help you boys fix things with Erica, and you fed it, because if any girls come to me, (breathes) I’M DIGGING YOU DOWN WITH ME!

Narrator: Chapter 3: Weirder Science, Melvin had it so bad for Erica’s brain, he couldn’t get her brain out of his brain

Erica: Can you pass the scapulae my sweet girl sweetheart!

(Melvin dreams on a date with Erica and the waiter brings a dead worm to them)

Melvin: Shall we begin the dissection my Intellectual amore!

Erica: Nothing would please no more, Start with the ventral nerve cord!

Melvin: Ooh, how about the sub pharyngeal ganglion.

Erica: That’s why I adore you!

Melvin: And I you, brain nuzzle

(Melvin and Erica rub their heads together, back in class Melvin rubs a skeleton)

Dressy: Uh, that’s the class skeleton

Melvin: I Know!

(He raises his head and zooms off and the skeleton head falls off)

Dressy: Skeleton!

(Meanwhile in the hall, Melvin spots Erica

Melvin: (gasps), Erica!

Erica: These videos are hilarious, (chuckles)

(then she hugs Gooch)

Erica: You’re the best, Gooch

Melvin: Aha, the key to her heart: funny videos.

(suddenly he falls into a trash can and it rolls past Erica and crashes into the wall and he sticks his hand out)

Melvin: International!

Narrator: Chapter 4: The Old Boys Club!

Harold: How are we supposed to make things good with Erica and the girls

George: Well, we just write a rad comic, Like with Robot, t rex’s, knife people…. And leave out ponies


Harold: No Ponies

(pensive music is heard, George shrugs and scratches and Harold rubs his chin And an Idea cloud appears above them, it shows a cat and a unicorn and crosses them out then girls clothing’s get crossed out with a pony and a remote control then it cycles faster and faster through the items and explodes in a cloud of pink dust)

Harold: Hey, what if we just put in a strong girl character!

George: Didn’t Erica say that!

Harold: I don’t know. I wasn’t listening!

(a lightbulb appears above him)

George: Wait, let’s make it about Erica

Harold: Yes!

George: We’ll make her the star of the comic, and we’ll give her special Erica powers!

Harold: Genius!

(they try do a handshake but do it wrong)

Captain Underpants: Captain Underpants and the sinister frights of Scaria fang by George Beard and Harold Hutchins

Comic Narrator: So once, there was this strong female character named Scaria Chang, she was a real know it all who sucked the joy out of everything, she was all, you’re so wrong, and tomatoes and fruit and you eat too much cheese and stuff ,then one time, this bat flew into the school, and she goes, you don’t fly right. And the bat’s like, Oh yeah, Cause I’m a talking bat! But he got all sad and then he bit her, he had melancholy bat venom and it turned her into a vimpire, which is like a vampire, but it sucks vim, aka, joy instead of blood, I know, new word, she says I’m Scaria Fang, I’m so sad, and I want to suck your joy., so she flew all around the school bitting bones and sucking joy, ow, my joy is gone, she got bigger and stronger, and she busted out of the school. Just then Captain Underpants was leaving the Underground Underwearhouse. Kids! I got underwear down there and analbino gator. but the kids were crying and stuff and Scaria says I took their joy and I will take yours. and he says Nuh-uh! Stop it or else and She says Or else nothing and attacks. Captain Underpants didn’t want to drop all his new underwear. It’s all clean and fresh, So he threw the albino gator at her But it stuck to her head Your albino gator is useless against me! ok, he says, so he gave in and threw all his new underwear at the ninja style, foop foop foop foop, she looked like an underwear snowman, and the kids thought it was so funny, they loved like crazy, Captain Underpants was getting their joy back, there was so much laughing that she laughed, too!, Stop, Ha ha ha, My Joy tank is filling, ha ha ha, too fast! And she got so big and round, the kids could jump on her like a bouncy house all day! See it all works out, Tra-la-la, The End!

Narrator: Chapter 5: So How’d it go over!

(a girl screams and tears it apart and all the girls tear up the comic)

Narrator: Not Well!

Harold: This is a disaster!

George: Don’t get me wrong, it’s bad, but I don’t think we crossed the line.

Gooch: You crossed the line, man, crossed the line, Making fun of Erica was not cool!

(Erica starts to snear at George and Harold and growls)

Harold: Oh no, she’s gonna kills us, Run

(he grunts as he pulls George’s arm and she passes them)

Erica: You’re not mad about the comic right!

Erica: I don’t get mad

Harold: Whew!

Erica: I get even!

Both: (gasp)

Erica: Just kidding!

Both: (sign in relief)

Erica: Or am I!

Both: (gasp)

Erica: Nah, I’m kidding, keep up the good work boys!

Both: (chuckle nervously)

(She turns to them and growls and they gasp and she chuckles and they chuckle nervously and she growls and they whimper and they all laugh and they chuckle nervously and she growls and they whimper and she laughs)

Erica: Mm-hmm!

(she backs away into the shadows)

Narrator: That was a real emotional roller coaster!

George: I know smiles, she loves it.

Harold: Oh, yeah, you took that online class!

(George is on a computer)

Man: Congratulations, you know smiles!

George: Ha

Narrator: Chapter 6: Weriderer Science, Since Erica called Gooch, the best when he showed her funny videos, Melvin built the bligtsk 2000 to blast his favorite funny videos intro Erica’s brain, that way Erica would think Melvin was the best!

Melvin: After I indstrictly carpet bond her brain with comedy, Erica and I would perform experiments by side or entranity, or longer!

Narrator: Hopefully, this interim events would modifect the rest of the episode

Melvin: I cannot wait to affect the rest of episode (laughing evilly and realizes he forgot and continues laughing evilly!

Narrator: Chapter 7: PlayGround Purgatory

(Meanwhile on the playground)

George: Now, a lot of people think dolphins can smile, but they can!

Erica: (screaming)

George: What happened!

Erica: Nothing, I’m fine!

(she walks off)

Harold: So why’d she scream!

Dressy: A bat swooped down and bit her right on the elbow (singing) elbow!

George: Ugh, Lunch bats!

Harold: Yeah, I miss chicken!

Dressy: But this lunch bat was different!

Harold: Was it wearing soup!

Dressy: No, it was… crying, (singing) crying

(an organ sound plays)

George: Where did that sound come from!

(Gooch passes by playing an organ on wheels)

Mover: Hey kid, come back here with my platoface

Narrrator: Chapter 8: Fangs For The Memories!

Harold: We’re in deep trouble now, Erica’s a vimpire

George: She’s not a vimpire, we made vimpire up, remember, Harold, don’t you see, I was wrong, she hated the comic and now she’s pranking us to get even, I’ll prove it!

Jessica Gordon: om yeah, this is my 14 batwing and I don’t even like that, you’re doing a great job, Sophie 1, Other Sophie, your new har cut is so bad, that’s harlarious (laughing)

Narrator: Melvin was nervous about pointing an untested experimental weapon at his potential solmae, Erica

Melvin: (gasps)

Narrator: So he pointed at Jessica!

Melvin: Jessica, how would you like to be part of scientific history

Jessica: Will you give my har more bounce or shine!

Melvin: Highly unlikely!

(he shoots it at Jessica causing her to land in a pile of garbage)

Jessica: (screaming and groaning)

Melvin: Hm, unfortunate and unessicary sacrifice for love, Jessica? Jessica?

(Jessica is now Messica Gorgon her hair is covered in garbage and she has fangs)

Jessica Gordon/Messica Gorgon: I’m not Jessica Gordon, I’m Messica Gorgon and I want to suck your JOY!!!

Melvin: (screaming)

Narrator: So what went wrong, turns out, Melvin’s sense of humor is atrocious, so he uploaded these photoquote funny videos!

Melvin: Celluiar bitosis, hillarious (laughing) miss a nueclear cooling rods, ha classic (laughing)


(they rush right into Krupp’s office)

‘George: Where is he?


Narrator: Picnic over.


(He flies toward Messica as she is about to bite a students arm)

(Meanwhile, on the playground, the poor students comfort each other and we pan over to George and Harold crying and hugging)

George: We can’t win!

Harold: We won when we met. And since we’re never gonna be happy again... I want you to know that was the happiest day of my life!

George: Not as happy as every day I got to spend with you!